Hmm.

So, I didn't get a phone call this morning. I guess that means I passed the test.? I sure hope so. I'll be heading into work in about half an hour from now, and maybe I'll get some real hands on training today. That's less stress for me to worry about right now.

Update on Mum: They still won't let her leave the hospital, and I still don't know when she'll be able to come home. There is going to be a big family fight because Mum won't be able to help Nana anymore. I know my Nana doesn't want a home-health person coming to help her, but that this point, she doesn't have an option.

Hollie is moving (for real this time I guess), and I don't live with them anymore. So there is no way that I can help out all the time. On top of the fact that I have a new Full-Time job. I won't have the time. I be damned if I let my mother have another heart attack because my Nana can't take care of her damn self.

My Mum.

"I know you guys are having fun and all, but you need to come home. Right now". Normally this isn't something that people hear in a phone call when they're at an amusement park. "Why, what's happening".? I can't even remember how I had the strength to not fall to the ground. "You just need to come home, Mum is having a heart attack". I never wanted to hear those words ever again. I lost it, I handed Matthew the phone, and I lost it. I remember crying, but I don't remember anything else. I don't remember leaving King's Dominion, I don't remember getting in the car. I know I took some of my Xanax and passed out in the back seat. 

As I was waking up, I remember the boy's talking about what was going on. They got my phone somehow, and they sounded worried that I was asleep for so long. I heard the sound of them opening my pill bottle, and I heard them counting out how many was left. Honestly, I don't know how many I took.

When we got to the hospital, I quickly found my way to my Mum's room. It confused me as to why we (Both the Matthew's and myself), we're the first ones there. Why the fuck wasn't my Mum's boyfriend there yet.? Because he was off getting my grandmother and sister some fucking food. That could of waiting. But like really, though. My fucking mother takes a heart attack, and we're busting our asses just to back in town. We're all the way in another state, and it took us about four hours to get home. It took him FOUR FUCKING HOURS to get there and be with my Mum.? I haven't felt this pissed off in a long ass time.

As of right now, it seems she does have a blockage and is getting medication for it. They won't let her leave yet, and I don't know when she'll be home. On top of the fact that I don't fucking trust doctors, I'm freaking out. She even had to have a blood transfusion. First Nana with her cancer, and now my Mum takes another heart attack. I don't know how much more of this I can handle. On top of the fact, if I didn't do well on that fucking test on Friday, I won't have a job anymore. I'm so fucking stressed, and my head is spinning. I need another Xanax, but I don't want to black out again. I don't know what to do anymore.