Sex in a Car Wash

There has been so much happening in my life within the past week. I think that my feelings are trying to get the best of me. I just.. I don't know what to do anymore. I just miss being with someone, not even a relationship anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'd love a healthy relationship, but I just miss having someone to hold me when I'm upset. Someone to dry off my tears, I miss being loved, being taken care of. I just don't know anymore.

I miss sex.

I'm not trying to sound like a whore. I just miss the passion, the lust. I wouldn't just have sex with anyone, I just miss it.

I just want someone to cuddle.

I want to cuddle you.

Ugh.

I'm done.

I'm still thinking about just not being with anyone, Asexual for life. But I do want to be with someone. Here's a better question, why the hell can't I get anyone. But everyone else that I know, can. Am I not pretty? I don't know.

I don't care.

I love you guys.

What I...

What makes me happy;

• Music
• Writing
• Relationships/Friendships
• Sex
• Animals

What I dislike about myself;

• My eyes
• My teeth
• My body
• My personality
• My twitch

What I've come to understand;

• There is nothing wrong with me
• I should love every bit of myself

What I know;

• I am a beautiful person

There is nothing wrong with who I am, or who I plan to be.

For anyone who has problems with themselves, just remember one thing. There is no one else in this world that is like you. No one could ever replace you. You're all beautiful, even with all of your flaws.

Shit Talking and Dick Talking.

I really hate not being in a relationship.

I love relationships.

I really do.

What really bothers me is that I have feelings for people, and they have no idea.

I have to keep my mouth shut.

Mainly to keep myself from getting hurt.

However, I have a few people in mind.

That I like.

I'd like to get to know them better.

That means I would have to talk to them.

I have no idea what I'm doing with my life.

I don't like people who talk shit about people.

It really bothers me.

If its not something you'd say to their face.

Keep your fucking mouth shut.

If you do this to anyone at all, fuck off.

Get out of my life.

Die.

My best friend and I talk about Dicks a lot.

People, and penis.

Just seems to work that way.

I love them and hate them at the same time.

I miss sex.

Like good sex.

I need a man.

I need a lover.

Someone to take care of me.

Love me.

I need to stop thinking.

I need sleep.

I love you guys.

The Little Things.

Everyone has bad days, some have bad weeks, months, or even years. I'll never be the person to say that I have a bad life, even if I've had bad days, it doesn't mean things won't get better. Within the twenty years that I've been alive, I've had some things happen to me that got me to question a lot of facts about my life. I didn't have the best family life, but in the other hand, I didn't have the worst. In the end, I love my family. Sometimes I still wonder why, some days however, I just like to forget. Forget about everything that's happened, and just think about the little things.

I've learned that all of the bad things that have hurt me, scared me, and worried me, shouldn't, and doesn't bother me anymore.

The little things should be the most important moments and memories that you should always remember. Even if its something small, like your first bike, hanging out with your best friends, or even just laying down and watching the clouds pass by. Just relax, breath, and try to remember that this is your life. Do what makes you happy, and stop trying to make other people happy.


It's very hard for me to let people know how I'm feeling. What makes it funny is that I love it when people open up to me. I love to understand how people feel, I like to know whats going on in their lives. To me, that keeps me from thinking about all of the fucked up problems that I have in life. Its just.. all the little things that they deal with. Those little things, keep me from feeling sorry for myself. I don't try to push too deep in their problems, mainly because I know that if someone was trying to do that to me, I would be very upset. Maybe to the point that I was just start crying.

Like I said, Its hard for me to talk to people. No matter how hard I want to try and talk to someone, I always kept everything bottled up. I know that its not healthy. So I worked on it, everyday. At this point, I needed to do anything to keep my mind off of all the bad stuff. So, one day I just looked outside, and watched the clouds.

I like these little things.

I love these little things.

Never for get what they have done. Forgive those whom would forgive you.

Live your life. Please.

Bree.

Things to know about me.

1. I dislike anyone whom talks behind their friend's back.
(I don't like to name name's. Its just never okay to call someone your friend, and talk shit about them in the same day. Fuck you, you childish, spineless, lying, hateful worms.)

2. I try to be a good person, even when I shouldn't.
(For years I've always been trying to be everyone's friend. It doesn't really work out in the end. I have myself, and my family. Blood related or not.)

3. I only have two friends.
(You know who you both are. I love you both very, very much.)

4. I think about how people would respond to my death, a lot.
(I don't want to die, however I think it would be very interesting to see how people would react to my death.)

5. All I've ever wanted was to be a mother.
(I mother everyone that I can. I take care of people, its just what I do. I fear that this dream of being a mother will never happen.)

I'd like to think of myself as a normal person. This thought has been in my mind for years. Screaming at me, so I understood that I was normal just like everyone else. After twenty years of trying to convince myself that this lie was indeed fact, it came to me. There is no 'normal', there is no 'perfect'. Everyone has their own flaws, and we should love them for such.

It took my twenty years, but its happened.

I love myself, and all of my flaws.