Ya.

I feel like I'm becoming more sexual as the weeks go by. I'm not sure what my problem is. I don't want to go out and have sex with random people, but there isn't anyone here that I'd want to be sexual with at this point. I don't want to say its because 'I miss the passion' part of it, because that would be a lie. I want to be pleased, to be played with, fucked. I miss being held down, and being told what to do. I miss another body's warmth next to mine. The calm after the storm.

I don't want anything sexual till I'm with a person. I want what we do to mean something. I don't want it to be a fucking, just because. I want it to be me and them, sharing something wonderful, and making beautiful love.

I miss being loved and cared for.

But I was told something that clung to me.

No matter how hard it may seem, I must do my best.

Trust, no one.

But with my feelings, my heart, or my body.